a rolling stone gathers no moss

Well we made it out of Cusco, barely, and caught a bus straight (14 hours) to Tacna the Chilean boarder town. We took the fancy bingo bus and I won BINGO. Unfortunately the prize was a ticket back to Cusco where I was not going so Lizzie kindly gave it to the other woman who won for her son. She was delighted and we passed out watching a horrible movie called Bunny House about playboy bunnies and sororities. We changed buses in Arequipa and got on a crap bus that played the movie Taken about 2 young girls travelling alone and then get kidnapped and drugged and put into a prostitution ring and Liam Neeson kicks ass and gets his daughter back and the other one dies. Fucked up movie to play. We got to Tacna and found that there was a strike on the way to Arica and we had to take a train to get there. For the record this is the third strike we have encountered on our journey.
We went to the "train station" which looked like a giant green barn and waited to buy our tickets for the alleged train. We ate guava ice cream sold to us from a woman on an ice cream bicycle with her 7 year old son with a neck tattoo. Lizzie ventured down the street and came back with 2 waters and an 11 pack of Pall Mall lights. She claims this was the only kind they sold. We smoked them, they were horrible. We finally boarded the "train" which was a single BOXCAR made when the boxcar children where still in existance and the petticoat was in style. We found seats and crammed in the back with a bunch of chilean women who looked like Real Housewives of Arica. There were 2 windows and about 65 people on the boxcar. I had swamp ass and Lizzie played nice and we made it alive.
We got to Arica and chatted with 4 Isreali guys who were going on a post army trip for 6 months with their final destination at Carnivale. They were nice and we got our shit and found the hostel and made our way to dinner. We ate on this promenade type street with 4 high schoolers playing classical music and i ate amazing fajitas that had flavor unlike any food we had prior. Chile is much more modern than Peru or Ecuador and the people don´t look at us quite as strange. Things are more expensive and they have McDonalsds and text messaging but they still don´t accept any american dollars for exchange that show the slightest signs of wear. Bizarre. We spent another day in Arica. I caught a cold and we did nothing of significance.
We left that night again almost missing our bus and I was sick and Lizzie was crazy and we were off to San Pedro de Atacama in the desert. We were told this was a direct bus here (14 hours?). We were awoken some time in the middle of the night to get off and bring our bags to a wooden rack and we stood there and then 15 minutes later got back on. Lizzie was pissed. We got on the bus and the lady in front of us was missing (Sumira) and her friends in the other seats assumed the was downstairs...I guess sitting in someone elses seat. We got to Calama and we had to switch buses and only then did her friends realize that the bus left her in the luggage stop in the middle of nowhere at 4am. Well 20 minutes later Sumira showed up and looked quite horrible and she was pisssssssed. We got on the bus, came here, walked around in the heat, found a cafe playing Barry White and Radiohead and ate breakfast then found a hostel and then took an evening tour of the Moon Valley.

This is Lizzie´s epilogue:
We did a tour of Valle de la Luna, our fellow travelers were scary. A french woman with a mustache, cat eyed sunglasses, lipstick streaming from her chin to her nostrils and a sexy pair of pink cankles exposed by her wildy print capris. We had to break free.......
As soon as the van stopped we ran down the dunes blasting Sea of Cortez, total moment.
Our second day of the desert sessions started out with A LOT of wine, a little too much wine to have before 3pm in fact.
So basically we bought a tour while I was still inebriated and a few hours later we found ourselves in the middle of the desert staring at salt lakes.
But it was chill because our tour guide looked like charles manson, so we dug it............
Then we watched to sunset and the salt made everything do the shimmy shimmy shimmer dance, it looke like Alaska expect in the desert. Ally listened to Jimi Hendrix and danced, I listened to Leonard Cohen and felt like crying, two very important things to do in life.

All in all Chile is turning out to be a good idea.

RAM ON PACHAMAMA Y PACHAPAPA

In preparation for our big Mystical Incan trip we spent the evening in Aguascalientes, hung out by the green river that runs through town and had an amaaaazzzziiinnngggg Ipod session. (Coming Shortly: a brilliant video of Ally jamming to Blackbird)



Climbed back up to our tree house, took our bedtime medicine and waited for pachamama and pachapapa to come to us.............


Arrival.
Machu Picchu really has enough to slooooowwwwwww you down.
The Andes are solid, and force you to stare, stare, stare!

You also get a really nice thin air combined with coca leaves high, so smiling is very easy.

Basically we spent over six hours climbing the ruins like llamas and staging spontenous two person pow wow parties on the cliffs while listening to Ram.

So yeah
We loved it, it was worth it, everyone should do it, blah blah blah, wha wha wha and all that good shit.

(hello from macchu picchu)

we´re in a cafe. im drinking a cappuccino and lizzie is drinking a pisco sour to get fucked up
she loves them
she has blood down her shirt from the nose bleed incident
and the internet is slower than molasses
and we have 2 bags of coca leaves in our bags
she says she wants to get numb

The Urban Birds & The Tiny Lamb

Some Lima pictures-this is the area Lizzie calls Miami this is the city hall building in Lima

We left Lima, Lizzie lost it. She wasn´t ready to part with her first true love on the road. I yelled. We left.
Took a DELUXE bus to Arequipa. Dinner was delicious, they showed 3 movies. All of them were english movies, dubbed in spanish, with english subtitles. Kind of a mind fuck, but Shawshank Redemption was a soft one for both of us. sniffle.
We got blankets and pillows, and there were crazy people complaining all the time around us. I think this is going to be the worst culture shock.
We got to play bingo. Lizzie got 5 in a row, we yelled BINGOOOOOOOOO!. The lady told us you needed to have the whole card completed. We were embarassed.
We both got crap sleep and woke up and lizzie drank juice and passed out and I was stuck watching Chronicles of Narnia. WHACK.

Got to Arequipa, the man who ran our hotel was a trip. Really eager to please. go go go kind of guy. Had a scarface, big smile, fast talker, crazy. We ate at Gopal, good food, incredible fruit bowl (mangos, cantelope, honeydew, pinapple, bananas, apples, grapes, kiwis, and a strawberry on top). We went to the PLAZA DE ARMAS (every city has one) and i fed pigeons out of my hands!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(some of you might not know that I really love pigeons)
After that, we lounged in a cafe, bought gypsy bracelets, walked, ate, walked, went back. (this is Arequipa)

Left the next morning for Puno (Lake Titicaca) which was a bout a 7 hour bus ride. We sat next to a nice couple that raved about Bolivia, and my stomach started rumbling (keep in mind you are NOT allowed to poo on the buses and they make NO stops...). We finally made it to the hostel. I stayed in the baño, lizzie ate dinner, i listened to radiohead, she smoked out the rooftop window.
Next day we took a boat out to the Uros Islands, which are made out of reeds and float and people live on them. Pretty cool.
this is a picture of the indiginous folk that live there and the houses on the right, Olga looked something like this
We took a boat there with a high school class and the boat had holes and water kept seeping in. Luckily the "captain"´s 6 year old son kept shoveling out pails of water and dumping them out the window to keep us afloat. First island was nice and they explained their culture, and Lizzie made friends with a large woman in hot pink named Olga (i wish google images had her). Olga showed us her hut and then we got to look at all the artesan crafts that they make for sale. Olga started hounding us and yelling for lizzie to buy her WAY OVERPRICED goods. Lizzie panicked. I laughed. Olga growled. Next island we just sat there. Then we proceeded back to mainland with the skipper shoveling water. Beautiful scenery. Got back, felt the altitude start getting to us. Shopped around and bought some gifts for the family. We ate dinner and went back to watch 40 year old virgin in spanish.
Puno is also where the altitude started to rough us up about, basically anything more than three flights of stairs and your start wondering if you´re old enough to have a heart attack, pressure headaches and bloody noses are also a newly acquired ailment, but contrary to what others may have predicted we can still smoke our lucky strikes, so it´s all good.
We left at 6am the next morning to Cusco. We bought coconut oreo things, some fruit, old bread and a GIANT fleece blanket with a St. Bernard (lizzie) and a calico cat (me)got on the bus and 7 hours later made it to Cusco. Got to Cusco, nice cute hostel (sorry matt, not Loki, the party reviews were scary), walked to the Plaza de armas, which was beautiful, but had a shitload of tourists. Ate some yogurt at Granja Heidi (don´t worry Andrew we´re going back tomorrow for a proper meal) which was quaint. Walked some more until Lizzie found a 2 week old lamb and payed 3 ladies to let her take her picture with it. Good god that thing was cute, and about the size of a tiny cat...love love. Then we went back to the plaza, put the ipod in, sparked a Lucky Strike and sat there listening to the entire Ram On album while the sunset and the street kids harassed us. It was lovely. this is where we sat
The we ate bad vegetarian food and here we are. We have one more day in Cusco, then we go up the magic mountain to Macchu Picchu. Then back through Arequipa to Arica (our first stop in Chile).

MISC-
*feed the fish!
*if you need Peruvian goods, write quickly
*Women wear purple during the month of october for the Lord of Miracles
*Inca Kola is not very good
*We bought Che brand cigarettes that are made here, and they "have a slogan, which other cigarettes don´t" (this was the selling point)
*most importanly, i forget what it feels like to not have violent gas.

hang on st christopher

rode with the night and woke up in Trujillo.
took a while to master the art of finding a cabbie that diddnt look like a pedafile.
found a solid modern art musuem outside of town.
the place had some fucking bold paintings and the cafe served whiskey, only whiskey.
sadly things went down hill after that, 8 hours to kill in a town that requires its citizens to dump their shit on the streets and its restaurants to serve sides of yucca with pubic hair.
our marlboros and newly acquired lack of shame helped us pull through.
night bus number 2.
woke up, busted down the door and said hello to Lima.

happy happy happy.
a city that lives.

Been hanging out around the main plaza and singing bob dylan for the pigeons.
Walked along with a massive funeral procession, it was kinda like the michael jackson thing at home, just a peruvian version.
Saw a gorgeous franciscan church with an impressive collection of books and human bones.
(we also bought our much needed st christopher medals there, but we couldnt find any holy water so we blessed them ourselves)
The meals have been good and long, the highlight being a dulce de leche filled churro which we stared at for 45 minutes before finally buying. (we also went for our first grocery shopping trip, the plan was supplies for a proper dinner, but we only got as far as cheese, bread, wine and tangerines......)
Lima has also greatly improved our car dodging skills, traffic is legit here.
(we pretend that we´re playing frogger while we weave our way around angry cabs)
We also saw a car light up in flames while riding the bus today, a little trippy and a little wild.
The hostel is chill, once again our fellow travelers are a little older and more serious than we would like, but its good because we have our own little smoking box outside with a nice catcus garden and we keep the malbec in our room. The concierge wears a very tight and acid washed canadian tuxedo, I can´t look at him without laughing, it´s kinda embarrassing.
Our hostel is in Miraflores, but we like to call this part of town MIIIIAAMI since its posh, latin, and by the sea. The coastline really delivers, planning on spending the day there tommorrow and reading, Ally is reading Moby Dick and she´s thinking of become a whaler or a pirate so it should be good for her.
On a cultural note; social manners are quite different here.
The people like to stare, apparently the two of us are something that they´ve never seen before.
And the brave ones like to repeat ¨hello, hello, hello, hello......¨
But we´re two steps ahead of those fools, we pretend that Ally´s spanish is the best, and watch them struggle...........
Leaving for Arequipa tommorrow.
It was good while it lasted, but movement is better...........

Titties & Chilis

This is our dear friend Saul, the Crimson rumped toucanet.

Last night we ate at Las Gemelitas( the little she twins) again.
It was their 15th birthday. The other kids chased them into the street and pelted them with eggs and then with flour. This is normal. Happy Birthday.

Today we got hassled by lots of gypsy hippies selling "treasures". Lizzie somehow gave this man 2 soles for winding some wire into star shaped rings that i might have worn when i was 8 or so and shopped at Claires. She regreted this as soon as he turned around. We took them off because of the bad ju-jus.

Also, I walked into a tree yesterday(there is no excuse for this, though as Lizzie kindly mentioned "dont worry, no one saw you")...I have a lump and I felt slightly concussed.

I found out that the lucky strikes I bought here that tasted sale were supposed to be smoked by June 2009. Fuck.

Now we take a 9hour night bus to Trujillo, spend the day there and then take another night bus to Lima where we can relax and reconnect with the world.

No one cares about Obama here and I dont know how to make an "at-sign" or an apostrophe. These skills will be mastered soon.

Praise Jah.

we fell for his red rump.........

Things we Found in Cuenca.

A real fellow backpacker friend, well kinda.
His name was Francoise, he was chubby ginger Quebequoise who liked hitchhiking and bear hugs. Oh and he also told us he was nurse........

We also met two Okies that are bicycling down to Patagonia (they started in Vancouver). They are definitely NOT are friends though, mainly because we only talked to them briefly but also because ally and I are bitches that would never admitt that two midwesterners could impress us.

Eucalyptus Cafe, one the finest places in the world.
Really great place, the walls are a deep red with black tiles, and they have cool pictures of Charley Parker and Che everywhere (and not the lame college dorm room type).
The food is really good and they serve really nice wines from Argentina and Chile as well as Cold Cold Cold Brahma (the best beer I`ve had here).
They also play Ray Charles and let you smoke inside.
Another perk is the REAL COFFEE AND REAL MUGS, not the polly pocket nescafe shit most places try to push on you.
Note: ECUADOR does not believe in import substitution, they sell are their coffee abroad and buy powdered shit for their people. The good stuff here all comes from Colombia........

They put Popcorn in the Ceviche, Ally spent a good three minutes throwing popcorn from across the table into the bowl, I had to tell her to stop popcorning me.

We also met Saul a Crimson Rumped Tucan, an immediate connection. We told him to look us up if he ever broke out (he lives in a cage at the Museo de Cuenca)


Yesterday we crossed the border into Peru.
Staying in Mancora, a dirty hippie surfer town, where you ride around in motorized rickshaws. (laura if you read this imagine pascuales just a little bigger and a different accent)

Our hostel room is four cement walls painted pepto bismol pink, we have mosquito nets but no shower curtain. I love it, Ally not so much...
At least we have TV because she`s starting to really like the novelas.
We found an amazing seafood place, but we suspect that they might put MSG in the food, cause it`s seriously addicting.......

Planning on spending the next couple days bumming around the beach and smoking the menthol Yves Saint Laurent cigarettes we just discovered this morning.........

Fotos

Lizzie forgot the cord to connect the camera to the computer, so while we have taken many a foto, we can´t show them to you. These are some google images I stole similar to pictures we have taken...

Cuenca


View of the cathedral.

the town square where we lounge it.

Baños


this is the view of Baños..


these are the hot springs by the waterfall where we hung with the locals.

Riobamba, quito and Alausi aren´t worth looking at.

Other Ecuador things to note before Peru mañana-
*people don´t really smile here
*everything is dirt cheap
*the car exhaust is out of control
*all the other backpackers are couples over 30 or single weirdos

On the move

Post baños we went to Alausi to ride the crazy Devil´s nose train.
Got on the 530am train to get there early enough to get a ticket.
Rode between the driver and the staircase on the bus.
Got to Alausi at 730.
Sat on a bench until 830. Bought tickets. Found out people died on the top of the bus so you can´t ride on top ( the whole reason we were going).
Sat around this tiny town until 1130 when then TRAM came. NOT TRAIN.
30 minute ride around a valley. Very lame. Waste of money.

After this we started our journey to Cuenca.
This is a long story that requires a bottle of bourbon to be told.
This is that crazy story.

I feel like we´ve been gone for weeks.
We talk about you all a lot, and miss you all.
For now, we keep truckin´through Cuenca.
Beautiful city with more adventures, then off to Peru.

george bush and monica lewinsky.

second day in Baños.
ok so this town is all about the outdoor connection.
we decided that a horse ride would be more in line with our level of physical fitness.
i was given a horse named george bush and ally rode on a slut known monica lewinsky.
george was a bastard, he insisted on always being leader of the pack and tried to bite me and monica a couple times.
we rode the horses through the outskirts of Baños looking like fools, trying to avoid getting hit by cars or running over the small children playing.
we finally got to "path" and slowly made it up to the foot of the volcano (george kept trying to snack which made him have to shit a lot; we lost a lot of time).
our guide (who we think was named "vito") was very interesting, he insisted we take pictures of the baby calves while the momma cow gave us terrifying looks and prepared to fucking charge, i´m also pretty sure he offered me 5000 us dollars to marry him for a greencard (he did say we wouldnt have to live together and we could divorce right away, what a gentleman).
then he lead us to a mini spa session, we drank mineral water that bubbled out of the ground and put on what was according to vito iron rich clay on our faces, he loved it.
we had to ride down a hill to a "cafe" which could only be reached by sitting in a metal chair that hung from a rope over a river canyon. for some reason they felt we needed better pictures so i ended getting pushed back and forth and couple times. the "cafe" was a big cement room with two chairs and $3 bottled water. we also had to climb up a tree house that was empty,we sat in there for a while till vito told us to come down.
the whole experience was like when you go to some lame party with people that don´t want to admit it´s lame. so they just keep trying to amp themselves up about anything, like coronas or journey songs............

we finally made it back from the tourist trap with our inner thighs ripped apart. we think it was the saddles, which looked like they were originally used for kid´s pony ride during the 19th century.

so yeah, we´re still sore.
riobamba
alasui
cuenca

I´m in Baños, bitch.

Ok. We´re listening to Led Zeppelin in the internet cafe here. Quito was a nightmare, but Baños is a green valley of mystic wonder. Imagine the coolest green valley with low hanging milky clouds everywhere and cute Ecuadorian children in uniform walking the streets and playing volleyball. Yesterday we settled in our hostel and then found a cool cafe down the street which catered to backpackers. The place was small with candles everywhere and colorful crap on the walls, and postcards galore(send your address if you want one). We had a quaint dinner and lizzie drank a huge beer.

We went to the natural hot springs last night at around 9. Like a 3 block walk from our hostel (which is really nice with tea and coffee and a honesty policy) with street dogs following us. Lizzie and I decided to just wear our clothes and swimsuits underneath with no towels or underwear in tow...The place looks like an outdoor bath house. And the first hotspring we saw was a full blown speedo sausage single festival, so we proceeded up the algae steps. Up stairs we shed our clothes in the 2x2ft changing room, and gave the bin to the lady and hopped in the family oriented hot spring. We lounged around with the kids wearing floaties, and admired the 100 ft waterfall coming down the mountain just next to the hot spring. After a nice soak we went to go change out of our suits. We decided to share a changing room again. Lizzie and I only had pants and a jacket each, so we ended up changing cheek to cheek and struggling to get our wet selves into our spandex attire. This is just the begining of our awkward encounters. Today we are going horseback riding up the side of the volcano, and then going on a night time volcano tour and then taking pictures of the purple basilica which lizzie can´t get enough of. We might head to Cuenca tomorrow or soak in some more Banos and cheek to cheeck action. Who knows. Hope everyone is doing well in the other world.

Also, the title comes from Lizzie´s saying everytime we reach a new location. It´s getting old...

taca lies, quito lies.

24 hours of taca, rum with orange juice, smoking bars and lighter bumming.
ally sat with a fake inca woman (her copy of harry potter gave her away) who might have been a hooker, and liked to elbow her.
first peron we met was pedro, he had a renault with a st bernard airfreshner hangin from the rear view mirror, we knew we had to be in good hands.
good call, pedro turned out to be a bad ass motha fucka who really knows how to bone out of narrow streets when crack heads start circling the car.
our man gave us the run down of quito, found a place that would give us some shelter.
1, 2, 3 were moving on, the only thing we want from quito is some coffee, fruit and a pack of lucky strikes.